Long or Short? Six things to consider when planning your wedding ceremony.
One of the most common questions that couples will have when planning their wedding ceremony is “How long does my ceremony have to be?”.
A simple question, yes, but unfortunately not one with a simple answer.
In the same way you might ask “what colour flowers should I use?”, “how many people should be in my wedding party?” or “what is the best show on TV?”, there is no single answer that will suit every couple.
Your ceremony should be a reflection of you and your partner, so how long it is and what is included will be as individual as you are.
Image Credit: Sean Tak
Legally, in Australia, a civil marriage ceremony must include the following three things:
The Monitum.
The Monitum is the following phrase, which must be said by an Authorised Marriage Celebrant:
“I am duly authorised by law to solemnize marriages according to law.” “Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.” “Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life”
Legal Vows
The following must be said by each member of the couple:
“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse).
Signing
The final mandatory element is the signing of some official paperwork by the couple, the celebrant and two witnesses who must be over the age of 18.
That’s it.
Some couples who just want to be married without the fuss will just do those three things. This form of ceremony is commonly called a “Legals Only” ceremony.
However if you wish to personalise your ceremony, through including things like:
personal vows,
exchanging rings,
saying “I do”,
your couple story,
readings,
rituals etc.,
obviously your ceremony’s duration will increase.
So, how do you determine what to include in your ceremony?
Six things you may want to consider are:
What is important to you? I recommend starting here. Think about what ceremonial inclusions align with your values and what are those things you SIMPLY. MUST. DO. Is acknowledging the Traditional Owners of your ceremony location important to you? Are you keen to write and share Personal Vows? Do you wish to acknowledge your parents and/or other important people who will be at your ceremony? Write a list of these things and refer back to it throughout your planning.
Where and when are you getting married? Think about the environment in which your ceremony will be held. If you are having an outdoor ceremony in the middle of summer, you will need to consider how long you (and your guests) will last in the heat and/or sun. An indoor location may provide an opportunity for a longer ceremony without losing people to the elements, as would things such as ensuring your outdoor location has lots of shade.
Who do you want involved in your ceremony? Do you have lots of siblings and/or friends you want included? Do you want your fur baby to play a role? Elements like Rituals and Readings are a lovely way to include loved ones in your ceremony, as is crowd participation through things like a Group Vow.
How comfortable are you being centre of attention? This one can go a few different ways. If you are not comfortable with the limelight, a quick ceremony might be best. On the flip side, a great way to take the focus off you both is through the involvement of others in your ceremony.
Who will be attending your ceremony? Once you have landed on a ceremony duration, consider the implications it will have for your guests. This may impact things like what sort, and how many, seats you have available at your ceremony location.
What else do you want to do? Finally, consider how your ceremony will fit into the rest of your day. For example:
If you are planning a longer ceremony later in the day, you may decide to have First Look photos beforehand to ensure that a longer ceremony doesn’t mean you miss out on good light for photos.
If you wish for your whole day to be a big party, consider having ‘pre-drinks’ available for guests before the ceremony begins.
As part of ceremony planning, all my couples receive a copy of my Wedding Ceremony Planning Guide. This guide outlines all the components of a traditional wedding ceremony and it’s a great starting point to work through to determine what you want to include in your ceremony.
For a free, no-obligation chat about your wedding ceremony, book a discovery call here.
Choosing to have your ceremony in the shade will mean that you and your guests will be much more comfortable and - bonus - you won’t be squinting in your photos!
Image credit: Rachael Van Keulen