Should you say "I do" to a wedding ritual in your ceremony?

Heard about ‘wedding rituals’ but not really sure what they are and if you should include one in your ceremony? Here is the low-down on wedding rituals:

Let’s start at the beginning. Dictionary.com defines a ritual as:

Ritual  [ rich-oo-uhl ]

noun

1.     an established or prescribed procedure for a religious or other rite.

2.     a system or collection of religious or other rites.

 And subsequently, a rite as:

 Rite [ rahyt ]

noun

1.     a formal or ceremonial act or procedure prescribed or customary in religious or other solemn use:

 Still confused? In simple terms, a wedding ceremony ritual is a physical activity you choose to include in your ceremony. It’s important to note that these are not mandatory inclusions and there are no guidelines that you have to follow. Quiet simply, if you choose to include a ritual, and subsequently what ritual you choose to include, is completely up to you and your partner.

Some examples of well-known rituals are:

Photo Credit: Sean Tak Photography

• Hand-fasting

• Ring warmings

• Sand Ceremony

• Candle lighting

• Religious rituals such as the Stefana or Breaking the glass

• Shots or toasts

However, you need not be constrained by what has been done before. You can always come up with your own ritual!

So, how do you decide if including a ritual in your ceremony is right for you?

Like everything that is included in your ceremony, a ritual should be three things: relevant, suitable and valuable.

Let’s break these down:

Relevant – your wedding ceremony should be all about you and your partner, so everything you include in it should have relevance to the two of you. For example, if you both hate the beach, a sand ceremony may not be right for you. Conversely, if you both love a good glass of bubbles, then including a toast may be something to include.

Suitable – It’s important to consider what you want your ceremony to feel like and if including a ritual is suitable. If you want to be married with no fuss in a short but sweet ceremony, then it may not be suitable. Similarly, if you are getting married outside where it could be windy, consider if lighting a candle is suitable in that environment.

Valuable – When considering a ritual, ask yourself ‘will this ritual make our ceremony better?’ and by that I mean, is it something that you really feel passionate about including- or are you just doing it for the sake of it? Your wedding ceremony is not the time nor place to include things just because you think you ‘should’ – stick with the mantra, all thriller, no filler!

Here is an example of a one of my couples who chose to include a ritual in their ceremony:

You may have heard of a time capsule, well Jane and Brenton included a twist on the time capsule in their ceremony: the wine-capsule!

This ritual was perfect for this couple who loved a good glass of vino.

Jane and Brenton selected a bottle of wine that had significance to them – in their case it was a bottle of red from a winery they had stayed at in the lead up to their wedding- and popped it in a gorgeous wooden box.

Photo credit: Sabine Le Grand Weddings

During the ceremony, we included a copy of their vows and also a love letter from each to the other. The letters were sealed and they had not seen what the other had written. In their letters, they described the reasons they first fell in love and for choosing to marry each other.

We then sealed the wine capsule, and they handed it to two of their wine-loving guests to keep in their cellar.

The idea is that once the wine capsule is sealed, it is not to be opened until their 10th wedding anniversary.

There is only one exception to this ritual – and it’s not that they ran out of wine and are thirsty! Should they find their marriage enduring insurmountable hardships, then they have permission to open this box early. Hopefully by drinking the wine and reading their letters, it will remind them of the love they felt when they were first united as a couple in marriage.

While this is a beautiful ritual to include in any wedding, what made it even more special for Jane and Brenton was that the ritual had significance to them. It wasn’t just something they found on a website and shoe-horned into their ceremony, it was relevant and meaningful and they now have a beautiful reward waiting for them at their 10 year wedding anniversary.

Are you considering including a ritual in your wedding ceremony? I’d love to hear about your plans. Enquire now for an obligation free chat.